Nakapikit

Last Monday, I attended the launch of Tita Helen's new book. At the launch, Vin Dancel of Peryodiko sang a song, the refrain of which has the lines "sa isang saglit ay babalik, nagdarasal ng nakapikit." It made me think about what it means to close ones' eyes.

A long time ago, I heard the phrase "kissing with your eyes closed" used to imply that you turn a blind eye to everything bad about a person when you're in love with them. But when we say we "pray with our eyes closed," does that mean we're also ignorant of something? God? Ourselves? Why do we close our eyes when we pray?

Personally, I don't equate closing ones eyes with blindness. It's actually a way to become more aware of things. Sometimes vision distracts us from feeling and understanding the world around us. When we close our eyes, we hear more, smell more, feel more. We become sensitive to that which is intangible.

Right after Dad died, we came upon the poems of John O'Donohue. One of the poems entitled "Grief" has the following lines which really resonated with me

"Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed;
And when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
To wean you eyes
From that gap in the air
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time."

Today, when I close my eyes, I know that he is still here. And although I still cry sometimes, my heart is truly filled with joy for he is always with us.